just like I usually am on this site.
I struggle with anger....it controls me often....
often enough that I sought out help...
and here is where I have concluded.
Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming.
Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive not aggressive manner is the healthiest way to express anger as well as calming down. Calming down inside means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.
Im really not an angry person. But I realized Im the type of person who has a low tolerance for frustration, meaning I feel like I should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. I can't take things in stride, and I get infuriated if the situation seems somehow unneccessary. When these situations arise, Im a rage-aholic!
I have tools to help with these times where I want to fly off the handle.
-I try to calm myself- take a deep breath. Praying everytime always helps, and its relaxing. This also helps my heart rate and blood pressure.
-I am trying to change the way I think when in the heat of the moment. Getting angry is not going to fix anything, and it won't make me feel better. Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational.
-Im trying to approach every situation with my best intentions and efforts to problem solve and find a resolution.
-Im gonna stop, litsen, think, then talk. I tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions.
-Humor helps me defuse rage, it helps me get a more balanced perspective.
So, if any of you out there have a problem with anger or rage, trying one or all of these tools will help. I promise!!