Lately, I've been scrutinized a bit about my walk with Jesus. How my decisions, convictions, and actions have made me appear to be better than everyone. Obviously this person doesn't know me well. It still pains me though, because thats not the kind of impression I want to make.
But after searching my heart and alot of time with the Lord, I've settled that no matter how it may appear, I choose to do what I believe is good... I have subjected myself to my God, those who have authority over me. I have chosen to be obedient, and not to slander anyone, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward everyone.
Who knows how this may convey to others. Especially the people who have known me before I've grown to know the Lord. Because after all, I have been known to live out of the flesh.
At one time I too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. I lived in evil and envy, being hated and hating others.
But I have to proclaim that when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared in me, He saved me, not because of righteous things I've done, but because of His mercy.
He saved me through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on me generously through Jesus, so that, having been justified by His grace, I might become an heir-- having the hope of eternal life.
Have you ever heard of the song by Brandon Heath called "I'm Not Who I Was"? Some of my favorite lyrics are copied below.
Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
These words string a cord in me because so badly I want to tell people of my past and those who think they know who I am-- that Im not who I was. I have been made anew!
Despite what others may determine....I know in my heart that Im truly free from any condemning charges against me. I have been redeemed and forgiven. Doesn't mean Im perfect..but any righteousness anyone may see in me is a reflection of Him.