ANGER!!!!!

I have had lots of people contact me about my post on anger, so I felt like I needed to keep this topic going.

We (humans) all deal with different magnitudes of anger, especially as a mommy, we have alot of unpredictable, uncontrollable scenarios that push our buttons. Its WHAT we do WITH our anger that becomes the problem.

I would say I am a recovering rageaholic. The word rageaholic is patterned after "alcoholic" and "workaholic" or similar names, and the condition is called "rageaholism" (as in "alcoholism").

The rageaholic is addicted to the expression of anger just like the alcoholic is addicted to alcohol. As with the alcoholic, all attempts of willpower to control the addiction have failed repeatedly.

Ive learned that my lack of willpower (yelling, cursing, throwing things, stomping around, etc.) only fuels my rage, just like an alcoholic taking a tiny drink.

The tools I mentioned before on this blog really DO help me. PLUS, I have lots of accountability. My sweet hubby keeps me accountable, by saying the word "MUSKRAT" when I start to lose willpower. Its a funny word we heard before and him saying it always gives me perspective. I also have a close girlfriend, who knows my anger struggles, and she checks in on me and keeps me accountable with not abusing my hubby with my rageaholism.

My poor family suffers the most from my past rageaholism. I honestly would say I'm no longer a rageaholic. But it has taken lots of prayer, work, accountability, and it can be easy to have another episode if I'm not careful.

My mom was a rageaholic, and her dad was too, its one of those generational curses I have vowed that will STOP with me! There are several places in the Bible that warns against anger. James 1:20 says "for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God". I desperately want to live a righteous life that will be passed on like golden treasures to my children and to their children.

Im reading....

...a new book by Max Lucado. Its called Facing Your Giants.


















Below is the intro to the book. I encourage anyone looking for a book to read this one. Im in a local book club (can you believe that?)that will discuss this book in November, Id love to have you join our group--just contact me for more info!


You know your Goliath. You recognize his walk, the thunder of his voice.

He taunts you with bills you can’t pay, people you can’t please, habits you can’t break, failures you can’t forget, and a future you can’t face. But just like David, you can face your giant, even if you aren’t the strongest, the smartest, the best equipped, or the holiest.

David. You could read his story and wonder what God saw in him. His life has little to offer the unstained, straight-A saint. He fell as often as he stood, stumbled as often as he conquered. But for those who know the sound of a Goliath, David gives this reminder:

Focus on giants—you stumble.
Focus on God—your giants tumble.

If you're ready to face your giants, let his story inspire you. The same God who helped him will help you.

Controlling anger before it controls you!!

Im just gonna be honest here.....
just like I usually am on this site.
I struggle with anger....it controls me often....
often enough that I sought out help...
and here is where I have concluded.

Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming.

Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive not aggressive manner is the healthiest way to express anger as well as calming down. Calming down inside means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.

Im really not an angry person. But I realized Im the type of person who has a low tolerance for frustration, meaning I feel like I should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. I can't take things in stride, and I get infuriated if the situation seems somehow unneccessary. When these situations arise, Im a rage-aholic!

I have tools to help with these times where I want to fly off the handle.
-I try to calm myself- take a deep breath. Praying everytime always helps, and its relaxing. This also helps my heart rate and blood pressure.
-I am trying to change the way I think when in the heat of the moment. Getting angry is not going to fix anything, and it won't make me feel better. Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational.
-Im trying to approach every situation with my best intentions and efforts to problem solve and find a resolution.
-Im gonna stop, litsen, think, then talk. I tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions.
-Humor helps me defuse rage, it helps me get a more balanced perspective.

So, if any of you out there have a problem with anger or rage, trying one or all of these tools will help. I promise!!

"To dabble in pornography is to indulge in vapors – a pleasure as fleeting as a wisp of smoke. "

This is a quote from a fellow blogger who has posted an excellent post on the topic of porn. You can read his post here.



He also noted some sad, shocking statistics about porn. I found myself in those same statistics -I was exposed to porn when I was 10 or 11, my parents had quite the collection. Then I-myself struggled with pornography for years.

But now, by Gods power I am free of porn. These are words from a favorite song- Im sure you might know it "My chains are gone- Ive been set free- my God my Savior, has randsomed me!!"
I think we all need to be talking about this. We need to somehow combat this. I think of the 40 day (online-blogging) fast I was apart of, and NO ONE mentioned porn, no one fasted for porn.

PORN is not a topic people want to talk about-but what a GREAT opportunity to share the victory of the cross.

LOOK at what ALL God CAN do!!

This is a Lifehouse "Everything" Skit,
be prepared to cry, I do everytime.

"Issac"

I got a new minivan today. We named it "Issac".










Are you familiar with the story in Genesis where Abraham was tested? You can read all about it here. Well, just like Abraham, Joel and I were tested. We had to put "Issac the Honda Odyssey" on the alter to sacrifice about 6 months ago. And by the grace of God, we are the proud owners of the van today.

I could go into great detail, but I will basically cut it short here. We were approached by a "soon to be" missionary who needed to sell her van, she wanted to sell us her minivan. We had to decline, there was no way we could buy such a car. Someone else came along ready to buy the van. (Which broke my heart) well after the van being put aside on hold until it was time to sell, the people had to back out- couldnt buy the car. So it was two weeks time to leave the country, and the car still wasnt sold. SO, we were approached again. God opened alot of doors, and we were able to purchase the van. WALLA, we now own a new minivan!! GOD IS GOOD!!

I encourage you, to search, and hear, what is God asking you to put aside for Him? Who knows! He might have something BETTER planned for you!

Warning! THIEF! Stolen treasure!!

It has appeared my outlook on what a treasure my marriage is has been stolen lately by my lack of appreciation for my sweet husband. I have focused on what ISN'T being done, rather than on all that is being done and done well.

The enemy of my faith is called a thief and a liar. And one of the thing I've recently allowed him to steal from me, is seeing my hubby as a gift from God, to help me to become more like Christ. I've failed to see Joel as a true blessing in my life. I've allowed my eyesight to become focused on the negative to such a degree that I don’t see the positive and acknowledge it.

The Bible says in Ephesians 4, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ouch! As I think about what I've said to my hubby lately, it wasnt wholesome and it sure didnt benefit him!!!

So I admit today, that my marriage is a treasure and gift from God, and I choose to do what I can so it won't lose its luster so it can SHINE to the glory of God. I will no longer allow my marriage to be robbed of being people, who “give thanks in every situation” knowing that God can “work good” even out of that which appears to be bad on the surface!













How about you? Is there a place where you might see a theif trying to steal? Maybe not even in a marriage, but a friendship, or with a relative, or coworker?

Money, Possessions and Eternity by Rany Alcorn

If you haven't read this book, I strongly enourage you to do so. It gives a great eternal perspective on earning, spending, saving, and investing money.

In America, we are surrounded by material abundance. Toys and gadgets abound, roads are clean and wide, houses are beauitfuly perfect and restaurants throw out loads of leftovers each week.

Money is powerful, unlocking the door to endless conveniences and many options in life.This book challenges you to expand your views of money and material wealth.

Did you know Jesus said more about money than any other thing? Because money is an index to a man's true character.

Jesus said (Matthew 6:19-21)
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

This is a video that only touches on this type of perspective Randy talks about.

Confession.....

I have a fear of bridges. I do. And I can manage it well.

But recently, there was a major bridge that collapsed and its all in the media. Which I think brought back some legitimate fears.

Well, I have been forced several times to drive over a bridge that goes over a lake this past week. I find myself going 10-15 over the speed limit just to get over the forever long bridge.

My mind ponders what my plan would be if the bridge collapses and my car falls into the water. By the way, do you think car seats float? Hmmm.

Anyway, I thank God for stretching me. Sending me over that bridge, to work out that fear, because after all, the spirit of fear has all the power I will relent to it.

Can anyone relate? Bridges might not do that to you, but maybe spiders? Or men? Or airplanes?

A thought to ponder.......

"DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING??" from God

I read that off of a church billboard today. And I was wondering...hmmm, do I really know where I am going?

Yes, I knew that I was headed home, but in life???

You know, I at times think through PLAN B, I ask the Lord for provision over PLAN B, knowing that this is the ultimate plan for my life at the time. Frusteratingly enough-- PLAN B just doesnt pan out.

THEN God gives me PLAN A.

Has this ever happened to you? Right now, are you thinking through PLAN B?

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

My husband and I have been documenting every dollar that comes through since January. Its actually very interesting now that we are halfway through the year and seeing what we spend our money on the most.

I challenge you to take record of your spendings for a month. And by the end of the month see where your every dollar went. You will be surprised!

Can you guess what what most of our dollars go to?
Mortgage! Home sweet home!

Second thing we spend most of our dollars on: groceries
Third: tithe

Interesting isnt it?

A lesson in Humilty by Max Lucado

Jesus … made Himself of no reputation … He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.
Philippians 2:5, 7–8

Deflating inflated egos is so important to God that he offers to help.

He helped me. I recently spent a week on a book tour. We saw long lines and crowded stores. One person after another complimented me. For three days I bathed in the river of praise. I began to believe the accolades. All these people can’t be wrong. I must be God’s gift to readers. My chest puffed so much I could hardly see where to autograph the books. Why, had I been born two thousand years earlier, we might read the gospels of Matthew, Max, Luke, and John. About the time I wondered if the Bible needed another epistle, God shot an arrow of humility in my direction.

We were running late for an evening book signing, late because the afternoon signing had seen such long lines. We expected the same at the next store. Concerned, we phoned ahead. “We are running behind. Tell all the people we’ll arrive soon.”

“No need to hurry,” the store manager assured.

“What about the people?”

“Neither one seems to be in a hurry.”

Neither one?

By the time we reached the store, thankfully, the crowd of two people had tripled to six. We had scheduled two hours for the signing; I needed ten minutes.

Self-conscious about sitting alone at the table, I peppered the last person with questions. We talked about her parents, school, Social Security number, favorite birthday party. Against my pleadings, she had to go. So I sat alone at the table. Big stack of Lucado books, no one in line.

I asked the store manager, “Did you advertise?”

“We did. More than usual.” She walked off.

The next time she passed I asked, “Had other signings?”

“Yes, usually we have a great response,” and kept going.

I signed all the books at my table. I signed all the Lucado books on the shelves. I signed Tom Clancy and John Grisham books. Finally a customer came to the table. “You write books?” he asked, picking up the new one.

“I do. Want me to sign it?”

“No thanks,” he answered and left.

God hit his target. Lest I forget, my daily reading the next morning had this passage: “Do not be wise in your own eyes” (Prov. 3:7).

When you’re full of yourself, God can’t fill you.

But when you empty yourself, God has a useful vessel.

A way of life????

I compare this picture to the one Kat posted in the very beginning.










This picture was taken inside the qualis we (me, my husband, our children, and some team members) were in. It was temporarily parked at a stop light. This girl, maybe 8, the same age of my daughter who was also in the car, came to our window. She was begging for money. We've seen lots of beggars for its a way of life in India but this was much worse. If you notice below in the zoomed in picture, her left hand has blood all over it.



















Again, at the stop light, this girl comes up to our window, and puts her hand right in our faces. My girls (ages 8 and 7) get a glimpse, then my husband quickly diverts their attention. With the lights que, our driver drives off, and a team member quickly takes a picture as we drive away from this precious girl.

Did you know its not uncommon for a child to be beaten or staged to make them objects of greater pity in order to recieve more money? This girls innocence has been robbed by such a crooked system. Whether the blood was fake or not isn't the issue, it was clearly intentional for this girl to appear hurt.

I just felt compelled to share this picture with all of you. I just feel we must make this known. People must know these things really are reality in far away nations. In agony, I think of this girl constantly-and I pray for her.
Will you join me today and pray for this girl too? And pray for justice for the hurting children in this nation.

The 40 Day Fast

There have been a few amazing bloggers posting about their fast and their cause. Here are two that have been impactful to me.
Andrew posted about the Dalit people. Read more here. The Dalit people group are very dear to my heart.
Shawn posted about what giving "a cup of cold water" looks like on his day. Read more here.
Click here to read about todays blogger and their cause.

Live in Today.

Here's what we need to keep in mind.

We no longer have yesterday,
nor do we yet have tomorrow.
We only have today.

This is the day the Lord has made.
We must choose to live in it.

Need some new shoes??

Today's blogger for the 40 Day Fast is .....

Tim Harms. He wrote a pretty amazing post on his blog. The organization he chose to highlight today was TOMS Shoes. For every pair of shoes purchased, Blake (the owner) will personally donate a pair to a child in need. It's that simple. Buy one pair, another gets donated.

Go check it out. TOMS Shoes

Maybe
your
in
need
of a
new
pair
of
shoes?

Someone asked me today...

What does it mean to you when God says that His strength is made perfect through our weaknesses?

It was a good question. I'd like to share my answer with you.
This comes from one of my favorite passages written by Paul.

2 Corinthians 12 (Paul's Vision and His Thorn)

My answer was this.

I have strengths and weaknesses. I always think God wants to use just my strengths, but He also wants to use my weaknesses. "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. " 1 COR 1:27 God loves to use weak people. There are places all over the Bible were God used imperfect weak people to accomplish extraordinary things.

When I think of weakness, I think thats a place God couldnt use. But God is never limited by our limitations!

Example:
I tend to be a grouch! I have to constantly admit it, and out of that weakness ask God for His strength. He continually helps me have a great attitude! My favorite verse that I meditate on daily is "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Galatians 5:22 Dont you know I can not do it without His help and strength!

I think we can learn from Paul with his "thorn" or weaknesses.
He was content with his weakness.
He chose to be vulnerable with his weakness.
And he glorified God in his weakness.

What are some of your weaknesses?